How long am I going to feel this deprivation within my emotional well being, Lord? How long will I feel this loss of acceptance from Your presence?
How many times must I deliberate alone with this grief and sorrow within my mind, will, and emotional state every time I face a new beginning [growth stage] that You have directed for my life? How long will I allow this work of the flesh play the victim within me.?
Lord, look at my motives intently and I will give an honest account of my attitude and behavior: give me Your insight and understanding concerning this affliction, I want to learn the righteous way before I grow old or die;
Why do I allow these acts of hatred [either against me or within me] to challenge my ability to overcome this kind of emotional roller coaster, I have before; but I am struggling with this challenge, and those who hate me are more than happy to see me in emotional pain.
I have decided to choose to be bold and confident in Your understanding and emotional awareness; I will do my best to rejoice in Your healthy means of transparency in worship of You.
I will sing unto You because Your compensation is my reward, in this I will learn everything that You want to teach me and help me through this ordeal.
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