Psalm 77 Rejection

I cry unto You Lord with a painful plea to give understanding to this rejection; I know You hear my cries.

I am in a season of anguish, but I continue to pursue Your favor Lord: This neurosis kept me up all night. My identity in You refuses to be comforted, even though I have repented.

I am aware of the conviction Lord, but I do not know why. I examined my attitude and behaviors even motives; and this reality of nonacceptance was overwhelming.

You revealed conceit and suppressed inferiority of those around me: I am terribly aggravated I can't even talk about this with anyone.

I have thought about this relationship of the past, the changes that should have been done are obvious, but the lack of responsibility helps camouflage the hidden agendas and wrong attitudes among these people.

I am ever cognizant of these reoccurring issues that is causing distress, they say forgive and forget but they themselves do not: I examine my own character flaws and have the understanding of it; my reality is misrepresented within their distress.

Lord, will I always be rejected by these folks? Unless I am the scapegoat; or allow their hidden agendas to go unnoticed, or be brought into account I am not accepted.

Do not enable Your mercy to leave me Lord. But why must I give up my identity in You to be accepted by them? Your promises do not end with bloodlines or denominational boundaries.

If You do not abandon me, why do they? You are not angered with the boldness of my character, in fact You encourage it, why are they behaving this way? Stop and think about that.

I do repent if I have afflicted any wounds; I will not go back and wear the disguise that was demanded of me as a child. You have restored my true identity to me. Why do they hate that?

I recall the achievements that You have creatively predetermined for my call as Your servant; my purpose is to walk in Your health; physically, mentally, and spiritually as a testimony to Your ability to restore mankind to You and himself.

I study and contemplate every aspect of the reality and truth of these dynamics; I teach and testify of Your exploits within my life.

Your character is that of a clean consecrated life of righteousness: not that of ideology, legalism, or justified positions deserved. Who dares to ask Your servants to conform to their doctrines as if they were Yours? Do they think they know more than You; certainly they don't know me better than You?

It is You Lord who provides the ability to perform any accomplishments [whether hidden or revealed] that I do for Your glory. You are the strength of my boldness.

Through Your power and strength You have redeemed me; even among the builders of the family name. Sometimes I am restrained and other times I am productive within my dynamics.

My identity is revealed in You: the wounds of rejection and jealousy are tiresome, it constantly undisclosed the projected unresolved issues which provoke hatred toward me. I am so tired of it.

Your provision of guidance was revealed to me through the reflection of your character: You restore my self-esteem, untroubled and well grounded: these projected wounds force the reality of unforgiving that is within their attitudes and behaviors to be demonstrated before my eyes.

You guide me as a radiant child with the direction of Your acceptance. How honored I am; my choice is to be a reflection of You in full enlightenment.