Psalm 77 Rejection

I cry unto You Lord with a painful plea to give understanding to this rejection; I know You hear my cries.

I am in a season of anguish, but I continue to pursue Your favor Lord: This neurosis kept me up all night. My identity in You refuses to be comforted, even though I have repented.

I am aware of the conviction Lord, but I do not know why. I examined my attitude and behaviors even motives; and this reality of nonacceptance was overwhelming.

You revealed conceit and suppressed inferiority of those around me: I am terribly aggravated I can't even talk about this with anyone.

I have thought about this relationship of the past, the changes that should have been done are obvious, but the lack of responsibility helps camouflage the hidden agendas and wrong attitudes among these people.

I am ever cognizant of these reoccurring issues that is causing distress, they say forgive and forget but they themselves do not: I examine my own character flaws and have the understanding of it; my reality is misrepresented within their distress.

Lord, will I always be rejected by these folks? Unless I am the scapegoat; or allow their hidden agendas to go unnoticed, or be brought into account I am not accepted.

Do not enable Your mercy to leave me Lord. But why must I give up my identity in You to be accepted by them? Your promises do not end with bloodlines or denominational boundaries.

If You do not abandon me, why do they? You are not angered with the boldness of my character, in fact You encourage it, why are they behaving this way? Stop and think about that.

I do repent if I have afflicted any wounds; I will not go back and wear the disguise that was demanded of me as a child. You have restored my true identity to me. Why do they hate that?

I recall the achievements that You have creatively predetermined for my call as Your servant; my purpose is to walk in Your health; physically, mentally, and spiritually as a testimony to Your ability to restore mankind to You and himself.

I study and contemplate every aspect of the reality and truth of these dynamics; I teach and testify of Your exploits within my life.

Your character is that of a clean consecrated life of righteousness: not that of ideology, legalism, or justified positions deserved. Who dares to ask Your servants to conform to their doctrines as if they were Yours? Do they think they know more than You; certainly they don't know me better than You?

It is You Lord who provides the ability to perform any accomplishments [whether hidden or revealed] that I do for Your glory. You are the strength of my boldness.

Through Your power and strength You have redeemed me; even among the builders of the family name. Sometimes I am restrained and other times I am productive within my dynamics.

My identity is revealed in You: the wounds of rejection and jealousy are tiresome, it constantly undisclosed the projected unresolved issues which provoke hatred toward me. I am so tired of it.

Your provision of guidance was revealed to me through the reflection of your character: You restore my self-esteem, untroubled and well grounded: these projected wounds force the reality of unforgiving that is within their attitudes and behaviors to be demonstrated before my eyes.

You guide me as a radiant child with the direction of Your acceptance. How honored I am; my choice is to be a reflection of You in full enlightenment.

Psalm 60 Insecurity

God I feel like You have rejected me, I have dishonored You with unhealthy attitudes and behaviors; please restore Yourself to me once again.

I recognize that I have taken my self-confidence into my own hands and it is now turned to arrogance: mend this attitude, birth Your confidence within me; I feel the effects of free floating anxiety upon me.

You show me reality even though I prefer denial and complacency: the things You teach stun me, I walk around in a daze.

You ascribe to me an understanding that enlighten my intellect, I need to revere You. This understanding raises a standard of reality that only You accept. Stop and think about that.

Strengthen me Lord; preserve and avenge me with a strong answer.

I await for Your appointed answer; I will rejoice in the burden You place on my shoulders to stretch my ability to carry.

These displaced attitudes and behaviors are temporary because You will stabilize my thinking.

You are the affirmation and support of my life; deprivation only comes when I offend You. Prolific and creative thinking will also be the strength that get me through this growth cycle, understanding will be the medication that will heal me.

Sometimes self love is my bathtub; my need for attention is rejected because of the worthless effort it produces: self-pity is broken because of Your Spirit dwelling within my emotional awareness comforting me.

Who will bring this reality of Your confidence to me? Who will teach me the emptiness of self-indulgence?

Do not reject me God because of unhealthy lusts within my carnal nature. It was You who reinforces this appointed learning time for me.

Help me through this stressful time: mankind does not have the ability to meet my spiritual needs or healing.

It is through Your virtuous strength that I will achieve good mental health: it is You who will help me stop these unhealthy attitudes and behaviors that plague me.

Psalm 22 Feelings of Abandonment

You are my strength and my God; I feel like You have let go of my life, I do not like that feeling. Why do I feel that You are distancing Yourself from me? Your security and presence are far from me, I feel alone and in emotional pain.

I cry with every new experience or developmental growth stage of my existence, but this time I have no answer from You: this time has been a difficult adverse season that causes my mind to scream.

I know that You are holy, it is You who establishes the church and the people in her. I know she will prevail.

My spiritual forefathers had total confidence in You; they had boldness and security in Your presence, because of their steadfast faith, You committed Yourself to them.

When they cried to You, they were preserved and stabled: their trust in You was never an issue and they were not disappointed.

Unlike my forefathers, I am tormented with insecurity, I am numb with grief: a disgrace and defamed by gossips, disesteemed and rejected by my own family.

It seems like everyone who knows me ridicules anything I say or do, they have abandoned me. They mock me with words and behaviors that sting, they shun my extended hand of fellowship.

I commit these attitudes to You Lord, but I feel like running away from it all: they say I relied on You, then You rejected me and laughed because I felt favored among the believers.

You are the one who gave me new life and another reason for living: You did give me a reason for hope, even when I was just a spiritual babe.

I was dedicated to You by my mother from birth: You have been my God from conception and You are my God now.

Please do not be distant now Lord; I feel the time of anguish causing this distress is gripping my throat; there is no protection or counsel for me in this situation but You.

Many frustrations, disappointments, and defeats have surrounded my past: strong trials have taught lessons of self control and have given me the ability to wait.

Humanity has ripped me apart with slander and lies, with devouring and rabid gossip they have shattered my name.

I am emotionally exhausted and physically weak, I am disassociated from any inner strength, my strong will and intellectual understanding is in rage; I am in the full grip of fear and grief, which is the source of my insecurity.

My emotional strength is shamefully broken and my ability is useless: my words are hard and indifferent, full of sarcasm; I am reduced to the mental state of depression.

The unbelievers taunt me and the hypocrites ridicule plague my thinking: believers display themselves friendly to my face but attack with sarcasm behind my back: they have broken my heart and my fellowship of trust is now slander.

I can chronicle the strength of my being, so I might analyze and discern my motives.

I feel stripped and naked mentally, spiritually, and socially; people wager to see how long it will be before I am destroyed in every area of my life.

Do not be distant to me now Lord: You are the very strength that will vindicate me.

Defend and preserve my identity from this cutting force and its destructive affect; rescue my self-esteem from the slander of the unbeliever and hypocrite.

Free me from these violent attitudes and critical behaviors: I know You can respond to me with compassion and power.

I will validate Your definite position in my faith, mark of individuality within my mental health, and honorable character within my life to all who know me: I will be transparent and enlightened by Your favor.

Let anyone who is reverent in the Lord, praise Him with me: all of you who are His children, glorify Him with me: stand in awe of His greatness, all of you who are conceived by His love, can now be ruled by His love.

Our God has not, nor will He despise the humility of those depressed [emotionally or spiritually]; neither has he concealed His presence from mankind. When anyone cries for help our Lord will answer, He discerns His own.

My transparency is in the Lord and will be seen by the multitude: I will keep my promises to God.

Those who are teachable will be spiritually and emotionally nurtured to health and fulfill their calling: they will be enlightened before the Lord and pursue Him diligently: they in turn will restore and nourish all believers who listen.

Mankind from every generation will remember this and have the chance to serve the Lord: all believing nations will worship the Lord our God.

This universe is the Lord's: He is our counselor, ruler, and the almighty power of every nation.

The people who are wealthy in His favor will give reverence: all those who are humble will worship Him, there is no one who can restore or nurture mankind in his own identity.

The conception of righteousness only begins in Him: this will be celebrated in every generation of mankind.

We choose to come and stand boldly to declare His faithfulness to anyone that will choose to grow in maturity and commit to His service.