I need to hear from You Lord, please give direction to me. Do not leave me stranded or be inactive within my spirit.
Consider these acts of hatred that is the works of the flesh are causing rage and anxiety within my rational being: this hate is causing arrogance within their thinking and grief within ours.
These are devious motives against me, deliberate behaviors of suppressed passive aggressive tendencies; they like sarcasm and think its wounds are funny.
These people boast of causing division among the believers; one side embraces the definite and conspicuous position of faith, the mark of individuality within their dynamics, and Your honorable character within their lifestyle; the other side recognizes only themselves and their ideology.
They organize their self efforts and have a common understanding; they choose to be a league of understanding within their belief system.
They have their own form of transparent truth that causes bloodshed against anyone who listens and follows the Lord. The difference is that we love God and they love themselves.
Their worship is their wealth and position within society, but their emotional well being is immature. Some are depressed, some full of self-pity, and some have eating disorders and love to be skeletal in appearance and thinking.
Some try honesty, but most are not; the dangerous thing is that they embrace and even birth the attitude and behaviors of the builders of the family name. This is a facade.
They are contentious if anyone does not embrace their ideology; watch for signs of crises orientation behavior, observe and take note of their whirlpool of emergent issues.
This attitude will be the destruction of their cause: but also their personal agendas will be revealed through their behaviors.
Compulsive disorders can be structured as a deception of sincerity; it is true that this show of superiority will be revealed as an emotional deprivation to protect their insecurity.
It is their life's dream to drive out God's people and the truth to make their ideology a belief system.
Showing posts with label Identity crisis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Identity crisis. Show all posts
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Psalm 55 Disassociated Aggression
Listen to my explanation Lord, do not be oblivious to my pleadings.
Regard my behavior and give answer to my questions concerning this disorder and/or trouble. I am boldly uncomfortable in this condition.
The acts of hatred are being acted out against me unjustly. I have used constraint behaviors, but this causes anger to swell within my emotional state. I want to retaliate.
The understanding of this behavior causes grievous anxiety within me: the disappointment of these disingenuous attitudes overwhelm me and I am in the state of self-deprivation.
Anxiety causes my body to shake, and terror has obsessed my reasoning faculties.
I tell myself to ignore these feelings wear a facade and no one will know. I really tried to repress this whole situation; then I thought that I would be at peace with myself.
When I tried this behavior I just digressed into deeper depression; holding on to grudges pushed me further into the obsession of hatred. Stop and think about that.
The acceleration of digression with my reality caused the dysfunction of my expressions in attitudes as well as my functional behaviors to display the farce. I am totally confused.
Help me Lord to stop this cycle of negative self-talk and thinking: I can see the self destruction and contention this is causing. The true awareness of my reality is being misdirected by my own thought processes.
From the start to the end of this incident, I have protected myself: I tried the vanity of a pretentious behavior but I was mentally exhausted from the worry of not holding up this farce and facade.
I find myself feeling envious of genuine people around me: trying to manipulate and deceive them with attitudes that control situations behind their back.
It wasn't an adversary that caused this reproach; I could then justify the behavior, neither was it someone who openly hated me by stating some defamation of my character; I could then just ignore it.
But it is my own feeling of desperation that is causing this battle within myself; my own self government, self-awareness and understanding is what is causing my anxiety.
I relish in the self-absorption of co-dependence and socialize within the circles of the household of God who were justified in this position, just like me. We enabled each others attitudes, and behaviors.
This state of desolation had to stop: it was causing dysfunction in the body of believers collectively, and stress within my thinking personally.
I made a decision to call upon You Lord; I know You will help me stop this downward spiral thinking process and keep me sane through the difficult transition of change.
From start to finish, and through all the circumstances in between I have been in total confusion. A battle between my soul and spirit: I must pray and evaluate my thinking. Then You Lord will give understanding to me so that I might change this destructive behavior.
You will redeem my identity with this refreshing and restoring health from these feelings of hostility that I enabled: many believers are in this same emotional turmoil.
You can hear and understand our unstable thinking. You can cause this awareness within our rational being by exercising our humility. Even the mature ones who are established in this behavior. Stop and think about that. This is because they have decided that maturity does not require a renewed identity in You. You must be revered always.
My main purpose was to protect myself with flattering words. I stupidly thought that it would build a protective wall around me. Constructive criticism of Your Word causes the conflict between my spirit and rational being. Your Word is a cutting instrument carving away my carnal opinions and self-protective attitudes.
I must stop thinking about past mistakes and offenses that I or others have caused. The Lord will nourish and maintain my spirit: it is He that will restore me to a righteous attitude and He will never leave me in despair.
Only with You Lord, will these past attitudes and behaviors be subdued and these learned carnal behaviors be humbled: jealousy and betrayal will not separate my new beginning with You; I am bold, confident, and choose to have hope in You.
Regard my behavior and give answer to my questions concerning this disorder and/or trouble. I am boldly uncomfortable in this condition.
The acts of hatred are being acted out against me unjustly. I have used constraint behaviors, but this causes anger to swell within my emotional state. I want to retaliate.
The understanding of this behavior causes grievous anxiety within me: the disappointment of these disingenuous attitudes overwhelm me and I am in the state of self-deprivation.
Anxiety causes my body to shake, and terror has obsessed my reasoning faculties.
I tell myself to ignore these feelings wear a facade and no one will know. I really tried to repress this whole situation; then I thought that I would be at peace with myself.
When I tried this behavior I just digressed into deeper depression; holding on to grudges pushed me further into the obsession of hatred. Stop and think about that.
The acceleration of digression with my reality caused the dysfunction of my expressions in attitudes as well as my functional behaviors to display the farce. I am totally confused.
Help me Lord to stop this cycle of negative self-talk and thinking: I can see the self destruction and contention this is causing. The true awareness of my reality is being misdirected by my own thought processes.
From the start to the end of this incident, I have protected myself: I tried the vanity of a pretentious behavior but I was mentally exhausted from the worry of not holding up this farce and facade.
I find myself feeling envious of genuine people around me: trying to manipulate and deceive them with attitudes that control situations behind their back.
It wasn't an adversary that caused this reproach; I could then justify the behavior, neither was it someone who openly hated me by stating some defamation of my character; I could then just ignore it.
But it is my own feeling of desperation that is causing this battle within myself; my own self government, self-awareness and understanding is what is causing my anxiety.
I relish in the self-absorption of co-dependence and socialize within the circles of the household of God who were justified in this position, just like me. We enabled each others attitudes, and behaviors.
This state of desolation had to stop: it was causing dysfunction in the body of believers collectively, and stress within my thinking personally.
I made a decision to call upon You Lord; I know You will help me stop this downward spiral thinking process and keep me sane through the difficult transition of change.
From start to finish, and through all the circumstances in between I have been in total confusion. A battle between my soul and spirit: I must pray and evaluate my thinking. Then You Lord will give understanding to me so that I might change this destructive behavior.
You will redeem my identity with this refreshing and restoring health from these feelings of hostility that I enabled: many believers are in this same emotional turmoil.
You can hear and understand our unstable thinking. You can cause this awareness within our rational being by exercising our humility. Even the mature ones who are established in this behavior. Stop and think about that. This is because they have decided that maturity does not require a renewed identity in You. You must be revered always.
My main purpose was to protect myself with flattering words. I stupidly thought that it would build a protective wall around me. Constructive criticism of Your Word causes the conflict between my spirit and rational being. Your Word is a cutting instrument carving away my carnal opinions and self-protective attitudes.
I must stop thinking about past mistakes and offenses that I or others have caused. The Lord will nourish and maintain my spirit: it is He that will restore me to a righteous attitude and He will never leave me in despair.
Only with You Lord, will these past attitudes and behaviors be subdued and these learned carnal behaviors be humbled: jealousy and betrayal will not separate my new beginning with You; I am bold, confident, and choose to have hope in You.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Psalm 42 Troubled Times
Even the spiritually mature must have Your support system within their identity if they want or need rejuvenation. My identity longs for Your support system.
My identity needs You God, You are the living God: when will I stand in Your righteous presence.
Grief has been the main emotion of this new beginning and the adversity that comes with it. There are people who ask; where is your favor with God?
I try to remember but my identity is emotionally vacant: I tried to conform to the peer pressure of the believers; with joy and praise we celebrate Your love with feasting and dancing.
Why then does my identity remain depressed? Why do I remain anxious and troubled? Trust in God, I say to myself; praise Him for your health, salvation, and accepted presence in your life.
My God, my self-esteem is strained and miserable: I remember to trust You for my confidence that I had when I was dying to my natural man. My pride was full of petty ideologies.
Discernment speaks to discernment when my identity is exposed to Your support system: role models for the brokenhearted and those who are in travail are two examples of Your radiant identity, they overwhelm me.
Yet You Lord constitute Your loving-kindness with each new beginning or growth stage and the adversity it brings. Your poetic composition nurtures me; my prayer is to You, who is my vitality.
You are my stability God, are You ignoring me? I am grief stricken and heartbroken over this stress of these acts of hatred within the carnal nature of mankind.
This hatred is a crushing instrument killing my strength, these acts exposes my stress; I am mocked daily by the question: where is your favor with God?
My identity is depressed, Why? Why do I continue to feel this anxiety? I counsel myself to trust God: So I praise You Lord, You are the health to my endurance, the reason for my purpose, and the gateway to my acceptance of this situation.
My identity needs You God, You are the living God: when will I stand in Your righteous presence.
Grief has been the main emotion of this new beginning and the adversity that comes with it. There are people who ask; where is your favor with God?
I try to remember but my identity is emotionally vacant: I tried to conform to the peer pressure of the believers; with joy and praise we celebrate Your love with feasting and dancing.
Why then does my identity remain depressed? Why do I remain anxious and troubled? Trust in God, I say to myself; praise Him for your health, salvation, and accepted presence in your life.
My God, my self-esteem is strained and miserable: I remember to trust You for my confidence that I had when I was dying to my natural man. My pride was full of petty ideologies.
Discernment speaks to discernment when my identity is exposed to Your support system: role models for the brokenhearted and those who are in travail are two examples of Your radiant identity, they overwhelm me.
Yet You Lord constitute Your loving-kindness with each new beginning or growth stage and the adversity it brings. Your poetic composition nurtures me; my prayer is to You, who is my vitality.
You are my stability God, are You ignoring me? I am grief stricken and heartbroken over this stress of these acts of hatred within the carnal nature of mankind.
This hatred is a crushing instrument killing my strength, these acts exposes my stress; I am mocked daily by the question: where is your favor with God?
My identity is depressed, Why? Why do I continue to feel this anxiety? I counsel myself to trust God: So I praise You Lord, You are the health to my endurance, the reason for my purpose, and the gateway to my acceptance of this situation.
Psalm 41 Healing
I must remain open to You Lord and walk with integrity, so that I may teach wisdom to anyone who is exhausted, feels incompetent, brokenhearted, or powerless within their identity.
Lord cover me with a mantle that will resemble You, and nourish me with restoration and revival; I will proceed in confidence and will not be distracted by the acts of hatred within mankind's carnal nature.
You Lord are my support system for the establishment of my identity. You refresh a bad attitude of hate and self-determination full of regret. You change my wounds full of emotional pain into a foundation of health and peace.
I say Lord have pity on me and give favor to my request: repair my identity; I have damaged my spirit with condemnation and guilt.
The acts of hatred within my carnal nature reveal the misery and stress within my spirit. I want it to stop. I want Your definite and conspicuous position in my faith, mark of individuality within my personal dynamics, and honorable character in my physical being.
I cannot listen to myself, for all I do is rehearse denial or deception: my identity's resources are collected in vain. When I speak of it all I hear is destructive rehearsal.
People who hate transparency use it as a weapon of gossip and contrive bitter attitudes against me: they use their own character weaknesses against the value God has given me and that disrespect my character.
Worthless causes and counsel is what their accusations are: this cause is done and will not accomplish or continue to do what God has ordained.
Even my best friend who was my confident, a guest at my dinner table, and who also dined on the spiritual fruit of this ministry; magnified pride and ambitious jealousy against me, he also betrayed the relationship.
But You Lord gave grace and mercy to me. You lifted my spirit and I can walk in wholeness with my attitude, behaviors, and motivations.
Your hand on me makes me to know that You are pleased with me. These acts of hatred within the carnal nature of mankind will not defeat me.
You also sustain my maturity, integrity, and have established me in Your presence forever.
Trustworthy is the Lord God of Israel, from everlasting to eternity. So be it!
Lord cover me with a mantle that will resemble You, and nourish me with restoration and revival; I will proceed in confidence and will not be distracted by the acts of hatred within mankind's carnal nature.
You Lord are my support system for the establishment of my identity. You refresh a bad attitude of hate and self-determination full of regret. You change my wounds full of emotional pain into a foundation of health and peace.
I say Lord have pity on me and give favor to my request: repair my identity; I have damaged my spirit with condemnation and guilt.
The acts of hatred within my carnal nature reveal the misery and stress within my spirit. I want it to stop. I want Your definite and conspicuous position in my faith, mark of individuality within my personal dynamics, and honorable character in my physical being.
I cannot listen to myself, for all I do is rehearse denial or deception: my identity's resources are collected in vain. When I speak of it all I hear is destructive rehearsal.
People who hate transparency use it as a weapon of gossip and contrive bitter attitudes against me: they use their own character weaknesses against the value God has given me and that disrespect my character.
Worthless causes and counsel is what their accusations are: this cause is done and will not accomplish or continue to do what God has ordained.
Even my best friend who was my confident, a guest at my dinner table, and who also dined on the spiritual fruit of this ministry; magnified pride and ambitious jealousy against me, he also betrayed the relationship.
But You Lord gave grace and mercy to me. You lifted my spirit and I can walk in wholeness with my attitude, behaviors, and motivations.
Your hand on me makes me to know that You are pleased with me. These acts of hatred within the carnal nature of mankind will not defeat me.
You also sustain my maturity, integrity, and have established me in Your presence forever.
Trustworthy is the Lord God of Israel, from everlasting to eternity. So be it!
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Psalm 33 Nurturance
I shout for joy in the Lord I choose not to compromise Your righteousness: transparency is a must so that I might choose to be incisive and upright in my attitudes and behaviors.
I praise the Lord openly with expressions of love: I will produce harmonious sounds to You with the song of my life.
I celebrate You with harmonious sounds to rebuild or repair the poetic composition of my life; I play melodiously and find favor to be counted as joyous.
I purpose to be righteous in the Lord so that my attitudes and behaviors are completely stable in Your faith in me.
God loves what is restored and righteous; my confidence in You is full and ever replenished with favor and kindness.
My intellect and enlightenment was made for the Lord's purpose; our time and service is appointed for Your will.
You gather our identity together to move the spirit of humanity within Your people: You distribute Your restorative provision for the enlightenment of Your chosen.
We who walk in Your confidence must revere You Lord: we who inhabit Your world stand in awe of You.
Whenever You speak, it is done: when You command, it is established.
The Lord can bring arrogant plans and purposes of idolaters to a stand still: cunning intentions of the unproductive are sterile.
The counsel of the Lord is established forever, Your purpose and thoughts are toward all generations of mankind.
Blessed is the church because her God is the Lord: You have tried and found Your inheritance acceptable.
You Lord regard this society of people with pleasure for Your intellectual insight: You discern the builders of the family name from the rest of the human race.
You are the foundation of endurance and keenly aware of all who are confident in Your ability.
You mold us like a potter, distressing our identity to form understanding and awareness; You distinguish our behaviors.
Not one ego is rescued by force nor have the resource within itself: even the valiant individual does not have this ability.
Strength without God is a facade of self-protection: He will not birth or protect the ego that is full of deception.
You are with us and we revere You; we wait and embrace the pain of hope in order to trust Your kind rebuke.
This is what delivers our identity from the state of ruin and keeps us nourished in times of extensive hunger.
Our identity must adhere to the Lord for the endurance of the waiting period; You are the protector and defender of my soul.
Then our intellect, emotional understanding, and awareness will rejoice in You. We have bold confidence in You.
We allow Your kind rebuke to be in us Lord, because our trust is in You. You are our hope.
I praise the Lord openly with expressions of love: I will produce harmonious sounds to You with the song of my life.
I celebrate You with harmonious sounds to rebuild or repair the poetic composition of my life; I play melodiously and find favor to be counted as joyous.
I purpose to be righteous in the Lord so that my attitudes and behaviors are completely stable in Your faith in me.
God loves what is restored and righteous; my confidence in You is full and ever replenished with favor and kindness.
My intellect and enlightenment was made for the Lord's purpose; our time and service is appointed for Your will.
You gather our identity together to move the spirit of humanity within Your people: You distribute Your restorative provision for the enlightenment of Your chosen.
We who walk in Your confidence must revere You Lord: we who inhabit Your world stand in awe of You.
Whenever You speak, it is done: when You command, it is established.
The Lord can bring arrogant plans and purposes of idolaters to a stand still: cunning intentions of the unproductive are sterile.
The counsel of the Lord is established forever, Your purpose and thoughts are toward all generations of mankind.
Blessed is the church because her God is the Lord: You have tried and found Your inheritance acceptable.
You Lord regard this society of people with pleasure for Your intellectual insight: You discern the builders of the family name from the rest of the human race.
You are the foundation of endurance and keenly aware of all who are confident in Your ability.
You mold us like a potter, distressing our identity to form understanding and awareness; You distinguish our behaviors.
Not one ego is rescued by force nor have the resource within itself: even the valiant individual does not have this ability.
Strength without God is a facade of self-protection: He will not birth or protect the ego that is full of deception.
You are with us and we revere You; we wait and embrace the pain of hope in order to trust Your kind rebuke.
This is what delivers our identity from the state of ruin and keeps us nourished in times of extensive hunger.
Our identity must adhere to the Lord for the endurance of the waiting period; You are the protector and defender of my soul.
Then our intellect, emotional understanding, and awareness will rejoice in You. We have bold confidence in You.
We allow Your kind rebuke to be in us Lord, because our trust is in You. You are our hope.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Psalm 25 Affliction within myself
I finally understand the validity of You in my identity.
I am bold, confident, and secure in You do not allow the negativity of disappointment or shame to overwhelm me. Do not allow my acts of hatred within my carnal nature to control or dominate my character.
Allow no one who has high expectations of You be ashamed: allow those who choose to display carnal behaviors, deceitful motives, or selfish attitudes be put to shame.
Not only make me aware, but also help me to comprehend the lifestyle You desire for me; instruct me with incentives to conform to Your character.
Do not only give instructions to me, but repress if necessary my natural man so that Your stability will counsel and console me: You are the God of my transparency which is independent of my salvation; I remain patient in Your will.
Remember Your compassion and mercy for me, Lord, so that I might sustain the reproof and reproach; this is important to me right from the start.
Lord try to forget the purging and purifying process of my youth, I was in total rebellion: the effects of Your kind reproof and reproach have marked me to be recognized for Your purpose and call.
Precious and just is the work of the Lord in me: therefore He will inform and direct those who offend Your Spirit by their incorrect lifestyle, attitudes, and behaviors.
For those who are depressed within their emotional well being or circumstances, it is God who will guide with His discernment: He will direct and instruct them in His way of life.
All patterns of characteristics of mankind in the Lord are kind and reproachable for the need of our stability, and are given to those who are obedient to the restorative process as reduplication.
I love the Lord's definite and conspicuous position within my spirit, His mark of individuality within my soul, and honorable character within my flesh; they are for His purpose. Forgive my perversity and sins, because they are tremendous.
Who or what is mankind that he thinks he should be revered or worshipped instead of the Lord? It is God who directs and instructs mankind in the lifestyle and motives that is acceptable and required of man.
It is our identity in Him that will endure and remain in grace with His peace; it is the fruit of our life that will feed our confidence in Him.
The intimate counsel of the Lord is with those who revere and respect Him; His counsel endures, His advice will bring restoration to my soul.
The discernment and perception of the Lord is continual; He will be the direction of my endurance and keep the fruit of my spirit from being disinherited.
Help me to face myself so that I might face You; I know that I am beloved, even though I feel lonely and depressed right now.
The anguish of my intellect and emotional understanding are being developed and growing within my soul; please bring me through this stressful and troubling time of my life.
Advise me through this misery as well as the wearing effect it has on my body and worship of You; forgive my sins.
Counsel me about the acts of hatred within my carnal nature, they increase rapidly and reflect hateful attitudes and behaviors.
Protect and minister to the validity of my identity; preserve my spirit: do not allow confusion or shame to enter my being; I put my confidence in You.
Enable my transparency and uprightness guard and maintain my walk with Your Spirit; my expectations are in You.
Liberate my restored nature in You God, extinguish all my adversity, anguish, and stress which I have caused within myself, it offends You.
I am bold, confident, and secure in You do not allow the negativity of disappointment or shame to overwhelm me. Do not allow my acts of hatred within my carnal nature to control or dominate my character.
Allow no one who has high expectations of You be ashamed: allow those who choose to display carnal behaviors, deceitful motives, or selfish attitudes be put to shame.
Not only make me aware, but also help me to comprehend the lifestyle You desire for me; instruct me with incentives to conform to Your character.
Do not only give instructions to me, but repress if necessary my natural man so that Your stability will counsel and console me: You are the God of my transparency which is independent of my salvation; I remain patient in Your will.
Remember Your compassion and mercy for me, Lord, so that I might sustain the reproof and reproach; this is important to me right from the start.
Lord try to forget the purging and purifying process of my youth, I was in total rebellion: the effects of Your kind reproof and reproach have marked me to be recognized for Your purpose and call.
Precious and just is the work of the Lord in me: therefore He will inform and direct those who offend Your Spirit by their incorrect lifestyle, attitudes, and behaviors.
For those who are depressed within their emotional well being or circumstances, it is God who will guide with His discernment: He will direct and instruct them in His way of life.
All patterns of characteristics of mankind in the Lord are kind and reproachable for the need of our stability, and are given to those who are obedient to the restorative process as reduplication.
I love the Lord's definite and conspicuous position within my spirit, His mark of individuality within my soul, and honorable character within my flesh; they are for His purpose. Forgive my perversity and sins, because they are tremendous.
Who or what is mankind that he thinks he should be revered or worshipped instead of the Lord? It is God who directs and instructs mankind in the lifestyle and motives that is acceptable and required of man.
It is our identity in Him that will endure and remain in grace with His peace; it is the fruit of our life that will feed our confidence in Him.
The intimate counsel of the Lord is with those who revere and respect Him; His counsel endures, His advice will bring restoration to my soul.
The discernment and perception of the Lord is continual; He will be the direction of my endurance and keep the fruit of my spirit from being disinherited.
Help me to face myself so that I might face You; I know that I am beloved, even though I feel lonely and depressed right now.
The anguish of my intellect and emotional understanding are being developed and growing within my soul; please bring me through this stressful and troubling time of my life.
Advise me through this misery as well as the wearing effect it has on my body and worship of You; forgive my sins.
Counsel me about the acts of hatred within my carnal nature, they increase rapidly and reflect hateful attitudes and behaviors.
Protect and minister to the validity of my identity; preserve my spirit: do not allow confusion or shame to enter my being; I put my confidence in You.
Enable my transparency and uprightness guard and maintain my walk with Your Spirit; my expectations are in You.
Liberate my restored nature in You God, extinguish all my adversity, anguish, and stress which I have caused within myself, it offends You.
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